Even though I've worked in Christian ministry for most of my adult life, I've still had to deal with difficult people. Many of them have tried my patience, some have helped me recognize my own offenses, and a few have even tested my faith in God. They've certainly exposed areas within me that needed work, helping to develop character and strengthen my walk with Christ.
I can't say I've mastered the art of dealing with difficult people, but I have learned that sometimes it's okay to avoid them. It's actually biblical. King David is a great example of someone in the Bible who triumphed over many offensive characters to become Israel's king and a man after God's own heart. Join Jack Zavada of Inspiration-for-Singles.com as he looks at some of the godly ways David dealt with difficult people.
Mary, just got on your “recommendations” for good Christian reading and you say Jon Courson is good reading. Watch out he speaks about breaking God’s Laws as a good thing. Beware who you are connected with!
Robert –
I’m not sure what you mean. The only place I mention Jon Courson on my website site is here:
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Can you show me (perhaps with a link) the page where I “say Jon Courson is good reading?” Also can you cite the source where Jon Courson speaks about breaking God’s laws as a good thing? I’m curious about that because I’ve never heard him say anything like that.
Thanks!
As someone whose profession requires a lot of writing, one lesson I’ve learned the hard way is that if people are confused by what you mean, it’s your responsibility. The issue isn’t “this person didn’t understand me”, but, rather, “I made myself too difficult to understand”. It’s incredibly frustrating, sometimes, trying to explain ourselves clearly.
Robert took something out of your post. Perhaps you intended it, perhaps you didn’t. But I’m disappointed that your response to him was so hostile. Saying “you make accusations; can you back them up” is, to my way of thinking, very hostile–and not in the true spirit of communications.
I don’t believe that, by perhaps misunderstanding you, he was “making accusations”. Instead of responding with anger, you could’ve simply explained, more clearly, what you meant to say. One of the consequences of our diversity, as Sons and Daughters of God, is that we each take different messages out of what we see and hear.
If this is how you respond when people disagree with you, perhaps you are one of the difficult people. I’m sure that, reading this, you’ve concluded I’m also “making accusations”, but I hope you can take this advice in the spirit in which it was intended. In blogging, as in life, I think a soft word really does go far.
CJ –
I really wasn’t responding in anger. I sounded hostile to you? Really? If it appeared that way, it wasn’t intentional.
Robert stated certain things about me as fact, but they are not true. Shouldn’t I question him about it? I was simply asking him to back up what he was saying with a link. In fact, there are over 1000 pages on my site, so I thought if I could see what page he was refefring to, I might understand him better.
The article Robert commented on, “Dealing with Difficult People,” wasn’t written by me. The writer is Jack Zavada. So, maybe you can see why I was confused by his comment and asked for a link.
You wrote: “I don’t believe that, by perhaps misunderstanding you, he was “making accusations”. Instead of responding with anger, you could’ve simply explained, more clearly, what you meant to say.”
The point was, CJ, I didn’t say anything about Jon Courson, so how could I simply explain what I meant to say more clearly?
I was also genuinely curious to know why he thinks Jon Courson speaks of breaking God’s Laws as a good thing.
I will take your advice, though, in the spirit it was intended and try to soften my words.