Brendan was already falling for Jamie when she found out she was pregnant. He knew he needed to change, get his life on the right path, and once and for all, stop cheating on Jamie. But he needed a power greater than himself to resist the temptation — he needed something real. Eventually both Jamie and Brendan found that something real when they gave their lives to Jesus Christ.
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Finding Something Real
Jamie and I first started dating my second year at the Merchant Marine Academy. Neither of us were Christians at the time, and we were both very involved in the kind of college life that runs rampant in our universities and college campuses today.In the beginning of our relationship, I cheated on her frequently. At that time I didn’t think the relationship was going to amount to anything so I didn’t take it too seriously. When I was a child, my mother once told me she wouldn’t want to know if my father ever cheated on her. She said that sin would be between my father and God, and that by him telling her the burden would become hers to forgive.
As a young kid growing up, I always took that to mean that I could cheat on the people that I was dating and only have to worry about hurting myself since it was just between me and God.
Falling for Jamie
As the months wore on and Jamie and I continued to date, it became harder to remain emotionally detached from Jamie. No matter how hard I tried it was impossible. Jamie could always make me smile, with her sweet disposition and gentle smile. Even though I had tried to stop it, we had become friends. As the months passed, the guilt began to weigh upon me for the way I was treating her. And as I faced my second term out at sea, this time lasting eight months, I decided that I wanted to pursue a real relationship with her. I realized that I could see myself being happily married to this girl.For almost eight months after this decision I remained faithful to Jamie and ceased to cheat with other girls. But I had not fixed the root of the problem. My change was not based on God’s Word.
Shocking News
It was midway through my junior year on a winter afternoon when I received a call one night from Jamie. I knew at once that this was something serious. She was crying hysterically and couldn’t get any words out. Finally she managed to blurt it out. She had just taken a pregnancy test. The results had come out positive.A long silence hung over the phone. In those moments, the walls of my world closed in all around me. I tried to breathe but couldn’t. A million thoughts began to run through my head as I strived to escape the reality that slowly began to seep into my consciousness. I struggled at first, trying to shake off this immense sense of responsibility and burden that now weighted down on me like a ton of bricks. I realized in that same instant that this was going to be my burden to bear, and that it was not going away.
The time passed slowly before I was able to come up with any sort of response. This only made Jamie more upset as she sobbed uncontrollably, pleading with me to say anything at all. I knew in that moment that I needed to step up and be the man, to support her and tell her everything was going to be okay. To my own shame, all I could manage was, “I think I am going to throw up.”
After a few moments I was able to take a deep breath and pull myself together. “Jamie, it’s going to be okay,” I told her. “Whatever happens we are going to have this baby, and everything is going to be alright. We’ll get through this together.”
The next couple of weeks were difficult as we struggled to tell our parents, and to sort everything out. Both of our parents, surprisingly, were supportive in the end. This helped to make it easier on both of us. Unfortunately, after I began to realize that my world was not going to end, I began to settle back down in the same lifestyle I had been living. I knew that things in my life needed to change badly, but I wasn’t yet ready to make that choice.
A Proposition
Three months passed by, and our lives had begun to settle down a bit. It was at this time that I began tutoring a girl at school who had been struggling in navigation. After a few weeks of tutoring, she began to make sexual propositions continually over a period of several weeks. In the beginning I tried to resist, but eventually I gave in to her and my own desires.The truth was, things like this had become almost second nature in my life. I had become a slave to my flesh, and I truly had no idea just how bound by it I had become. Unfortunately, Jesus had yet to break those chains. And even though it had been eight months since I had quit cheating, my resolve had not been tested by any real fire.
Needing to Change
In the days that followed, I felt absolutely sick to my stomach. Jamie was my best friend, three months pregnant with my child, and I was about to throw it all away for one night with a woman I barely knew. The reality of what I had done slowly began to sink in. I was disgusted with myself and began to see for the first time the reality of the ugly person that I had become. I didn’t know many things at this point, but I knew that this was not who I wanted to be.Go to Page 2 of "Finding Something Real."
