Michelle's unstable childhood, filled with abuse and neglect, led her down a destructive path of promiscuity and dysfunctional relationships. She found escape through dancing and music, but these were not enough to keep her from despairing. She knew if someone didn't save her, she would die. Then God sent a friend named Angel to point Michelle toward the best decision she'd ever make and a second chance at life.
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Michelle's Second Chance at Life
My mother and father migrated to New York from the Caribbean looking to get out of their small town. Uneducated, they found themselves mixing with the wrong crowds and soon their lifestyle was filled with drugs, alcohol and violence.As a child growing up in that environment, life was very unpredictable. Every day was a different drama, causing my siblings and me to live in fear. My mom eventually divorced my father and remarried, but my father never accepted the divorce. He was always causing conflict and strife within the family.
Unstable Years
My adolescent years were unstable. We were always moving and no matter where we went, my father found us. My mom would vanish for days when he showed up, leaving us with our father to endure his physical, verbal and emotional abuse. He would show up drunk and threaten to hurt my mom. Many times we had to call the police to get him out. I remember everyone being afraid of him. Living with him felt like being in a prison.There was no communication in my home. Most of the time there was just screaming. There was absolutely no peace! And when we did have a little calm, it was short-lived. I learned to live in that chaotic world created by my parents. We basically lived in fear. This affected my early childhood development.
Escaping through Dance
I used dancing and music to fade out the noise in my environment. I loved to dance. That was my outlet. I would turn up the music and dance until I dropped. My mother managed to put me into ballet school and I dreamed of one day becoming a ballerina. I took lessons, but with all the moving and instability I just couldn't stay focused. Without real support, I never developed the discipline to become a professional ballet dancer. I was left with broken dreams and became resentful of my parents.In my teen years my mom pretty much vanished. She made sure we had food, clothing and shelter, but she was doing her own thing. I was left alone to raise my sister and myself, so I started to experiment with sex and drugs to take away the loneliness.
An Altered Course
By 14 years old I got pregnant and had my first abortion. A neighborhood friend raped me at 16, leaving me feeling betrayed and fearful. This experience really altered the direction of my life. I began looking for love in abusive relationships. By 18 I had gotten pregnant two more times and had abortions. It was very painful, but I couldn't see myself having children.My teenage life was a series of bad events. I really hated life at that time. I was struggling and I had no one to turn to in times of trouble. Abortion was how I solved all of my problems. I was very promiscuous and didn't trust anybody out on the streets. I hopped around from one relationship to another, searching for someone who would protect me from the storm and take away the pain.
No Boundaries
I found myself living the homosexual lifestyle after I had had enough with abusive men. But I found women to be just as abusive. I entered my twenties spiritually, emotionally and sexually dysfunctional. I lived with no boundaries. But I still had the dream inside that kept me going -- dancing. But now I danced with my clothes off.All of the money I had rolling in from stripping was wasted on a bad Cocaine habit that kept me numb. Hanging with the wrong crowd led me to a downward spiral. My life was in the pit and I was getting worse every day. I knew if someone didn't save me I would die.
