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Robert's Journey to God
It all started when I was a young boy around five or six years of age. I was at primary school one day, walking on the sports oval, trying to read a big red book that I had taken from my mother's bookshelf. The color fascinated me, along with the huge gold lettered title of the book, simply called God. I got in trouble by a teacher who reprimanded me for having such a book in my young hands. My mother was not impressed with me either.Time went by and I remembered going to Sunday School at the Army Camp in which I lived. I recall drawing a picture of Jesus.
These are the only good things I can remember about the Lord while growing up. The rest of my life, I only recollect knowing the Lord as a swear word, much to my regret.
A Tragic Loss
When I was just 17, a tragedy hit my family very hard. My mother, who was only around 40, suddenly died in the hospital. We buried her four days before Christmas. I was the eldest of six children (ages 11, 13, 14, 15, 16, and me, 17). Our father was 47. It was the most terrible Christmas that my family has ever had, as no doubt, you can imagine the pain and anguish we felt. One of the worst moments was when we opened presents from mum, and her gifts lay unopened under the Christmas tree.I received the shocking news of my mother's death through my three crying sisters. It was 1 a.m., the week before Christmas. I jumped up in disbelief, but at the same time I knew inwardly it must be true. I began to let out a verbal barrage of hatred, anger, and curses to God; I blamed him for my mum's death.
After that Christmas in 1975, I left school to help my dad bring in some income. I commenced work as a young 17-year-old in the abattoirs (butcheries).
No Moral Backbone
At the time, I had no moral backbone in my life. I was rough, and quickly turned to the ways of drunkenness, sexual immorality, drugs, and gambling. I was particularly harsh towards anyone who wanted to preach Jesus to me.I ended up living alone and with different mates throughout my turbulent lifestyle. I had many broken relationships with women and, with my life being the way it was, I am not surprised.
One day I went back to my flat to find that my girlfriend had suddenly left and taken everything except a small table and one chair. She didn't even leave me a blanket or a sheet for the bed. It was a cold winter in Victoria, Australia, and I had had enough! I did not know what to do.
Calling Out to God
That night I lay freezing cold with about three pairs of footy socks and trackys (jogging clothes) on to try and keep warm. I was only 22 years old.Suddenly, I called out to God, "Are you there, God?"
All I could see in my mind was blackness with bright, white letters—GOD. I cried myself to sleep, which I often did, because I missed my mum so much. As I cried that freezing cold night, I said to God, "If you are real, please help me out."
I woke the next morning and went to work. When I got home, I had received a letter from my dad who lived up north in Ballina. The letter contained $70 for me to buy some winter clothes to keep warm.
A Turning Point
I was dumbfounded, to say the least. I immediately thought this was very strange. The letter began a turning point in my life toward seeking to know God.I packed up and moved to be with my dad and my stepmother, whom dad had married a few years after my mum's death. A few more years went by and I was still doing the same evil things.
One day I sat for a New South Wales (NSW) public service exam and passed it. I was given a job working in the government Social Security office in Murwillumbah. It was there that a woman shared with me about the Lord. She brought me my first Bible and I started to be drawn toward God. But it would still be many years before I came forward to truly understand the real Jesus!
Five years later, after continuing to live in brokenness and strife, now declared bankrupt and on the run from various unsavory characters, I found myself living back in the area where I had lost my mother. I had gotten a job at a hand tool manufacturing plant in Albury, NSW.
Forever Changed
During my first nine months working there, a lady witnessed to me very strongly, sharing the love and compassion of Jesus. I went to a Pentecostal church for the first time with this friend from work, and on October 23, 1988, I responded to an altar call that changed my life forever.I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior that day, and what felt like a great weight lifted off me. I was so happy. I felt free, indeed, from all the guilt of sin that I had been bathing in throughout my horrendous life.
I went home and destroyed the alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, and anything I thought was not pleasing to God. I was totally liberated from the wickedness of my life and happily excited about my new birth in the kingdom of God Almighty.
Once upon a time I had cursed God, but through the compassion, mercy, and calling of God on my life, I can truly say I am forgiven. I now love God and will dwell with him and follow him for all eternity.
What about you, my friend, who is reading this? Will you follow him too?
My heart was once a cold and bitter heart, but now I have a warm and loving heart. I'd like to close with a little poem God gave me after my salvation.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
And with the tears I shed,
I assure you—
God's love is true.
--Robert A. Dionysius, 2008
