After 24 hours I was released under the care of a psychologist. She was a Christian psychologist that believed in the life-changing power of the promises of God. She instructed me to purchase a book of God's promises and meditate on them day and night. She began to explain what I was going through. She called it post-traumatic stress disorder. She was able to help me unravel my feelings and understand the grip that these past events had on me. She told me that I was not alone and that there were countless others that had shared my experiences and had recovered.
For the first time I felt hope.
Throughout my pregnancy I meditated on God's Word. I knew that it was God's grace that had helped me not to have the abortion. I realized that although this pregnancy was not one that I had planned, the baby was a life and I could not murder this child.
I started to believe as it says in God's Word, "Children are a gift from God." I read the Bible every day and asked the Spirit of God to help me. As I drew close to him, the Lord drew even closer to me.
More Spiritual Dreams from God
When I began having dreams about this child that I was carrying, the psychologist instructed me to keep a dream journal, so I did. The dreams were so real with details of the child's birth given to me in advance. I shared the dream journal with my family, my mother, and anyone that would listen.I began to realize that although I had not planned this pregnancy, God had. God wanted this child to be. The first dream revealed the child's name, gender and physical attributes. Other dreams revealed how he would be born, when he would be born, and how he would be blessed.
I was ridiculed by family and made an outcast by friends. At one point my own grandmother told me that I must have enjoyed becoming pregnant because I refused to have an abortion. Even my brothers scoffed at me and made fun of me for thinking that God could have possibly given me these dreams.
When the final sonogram revealed nothing of the baby's gender I began to doubt. But the next day the Lord sent an old woman from church to my house. As she entered she began to prophesy over me and my unborn child. The Lord spoke through her, confirming all of my dreams. I could barely believe what I was hearing. Only God and I knew about the things that she said. She had come straight from Puerto Rico with no knowledge of what had happened to me. I wept in her arms as I felt the love of God emanating from her. I knew I had made a decision that God was proud of and that was all that mattered.
My mood from then on was happier. The burden of shame lifted and the Word of the Lord became my strength. I had faith and hope restored as my Heavenly Father gave me beauty for ashes. The love of God became so real to me.
My Dream Come True
It was getting close to Christmas, but the baby was not due until January. Despite what the doctors had determined, I had dreamed that Christopher would be born around Christmas time. I shared this with friends and family and let them know that they should be ready. On Christmas day I went into labor and at 9 a.m., the day after Christmas, my son was born. I named him Christopher Erickson.My mother was in the delivery room and so was half of the student medical staff at the hospital. Upon his delivery, a Jewish student physician played "Silent Night" on the trumpet. My mother's co-worker, the woman I had attacked, became my child's godmother.
When I looked at my healthy baby boy, I knew adoption was no longer an option for me. I would be a mother. I would raise this child and love him unconditionally. He was the start of a new chapter in my life. I was ready to be a mom. After all, I knew God was with me. And if God was with me, who could be against me?
This experience taught me that God's love is greater than any circumstance or suffering one can endure. He can love us and free us with just one touch of his hand. When I called on him, he answered, not because of who I was, but because of who he is.
The baby boy I saw in a dream at the age of 16 was born on December 26, 1995. I was exactly 21 years old when I gave birth to my first-born son Christopher Erickson. Later I learned that his name means "Christ-like son of a ruler." Neither his name, nor his birth were accidents. His hair is still curly, and he has big brown eyes and the infamous freckles I saw in that vivid dream five years before his birth.
I am not clairvoyant and I am definitely not psychic. I just know that God is who he says he is. For me this settles an age-old argument. God truly knows us, even before we are in the womb. God knew Christopher, and if he knew my child, God knows us all.
