Young Charles experienced a grim childhood, troubled by physical and emotional abuse and void of a father's love. When he discovered at age 16 that the man he knew as father was really his stepfather, it explained some of the abuse. However, not until he encountered the saving love of his Heavenly Father, did Charles truly come to know the acceptance and approval that he had longed for all his life.
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For the Love of a Father
I don’t have many fond memories of my childhood. My mother was and is a practicing alcoholic, while my stepfather was a master of child abuse. You see, growing up, I thought my stepfather was my real father. It wasn't until I was 16 years old that I found out differently. That’s when everything started to make sense.My memories of childhood start for me at age five. Standing on two of my mother’s empty beer cases, I would wash, dry and put away the dishes. I was living the life of Cinderella. I had three stepsisters none of whom had to lift a finger to do any chores in or around the house – that was my job.
I remember one bright, sunny Saturday morning getting up early and wanting to play outside. I grabbed my favorite toy which was a sock monkey. These were monkeys made from particular types of socks. Anyway, I grabbed monkey and out the door we went. No one else was up yet and the neighbor down the block had a brand new swing set!
Childhood Abuse
Off I went me and my monkey, to test out this new swing set! I was having so much fun that I forgot about everything else and had an accident in my pants. When I went home to take care of this, my stepfather was very angry and laid into me with his leather belt. As part of my punishment, my parents chained me naked to a support post in our basement where I was to spend the next three days. If I had to go the toilet I was to yell for my mother who would have me urinate in an empty can.
It would be this way in our house for a long time. No matter what I did, I couldn't please the man I knew as father. I finally found out why I couldn't please him when I was sixteen – he wasn't my real father. All the beatings I took, both physically and mentally, now started to make sense.
Seeking Approval
In many ways, I summed up my relationship with our Heavenly Father the same way. It seemed that no matter what I did, I was always coming up short. I believed that God had deserted me. It didn't occur to me at the time, but I was always trying to please and win the approval of the wrong father!
This epiphany didn't hit me until much later in life when I could truly understand and appreciate what God had been teaching me all along. My earthly father had no use for me whatsoever. I was an abomination in his eye – a continual sore that reminded him daily that my mother had been with another man and that now he had the responsibility of supporting me.
Blessed of God
I consider myself blessed, that our God, full of love, mercy and patience, waited for me until I was ready for him. I was made into rough clay and in the Potter’s hand I was molded into a soldier for Christ Jesus and a witness to the miracles our Father provides us on a daily basis.
Looking back over the history of my life, I can see countless examples of God directing me, forging me in the fire of faith and love. Everything evil, I learned from men. I was really no better than my stepfather in many ways.
A Purpose for Me
Everything truthful, merciful and godly, I learned from my one and true Father God. I spent many years wondering why I was born or where exactly I fit in. It never occurred to me that God had a purpose for me and that I was the only one he had chosen and created to perform these certain tasks according to his will.
I want readers to know that God has a plan for your life too! If you truly seek him and ask, it shall be given to you. The many promises of God are as good today as they were when they were first written. He does not lie, nor does he promise something he has no intention of fulfilling.
All we need to do is put our trust and faith in him and in his Son, Christ Jesus. Time and time again throughout God’s Word, we are reminded that when one has faith and trust, there is no army in heaven or on earth that can come against us and win!
Where are you in your walk with the Lord? It’s an awesome thing to know that you can come before the Master and Creator of the universe and talk to him like he is your best friend. And he is! If God did not love you, or if he wanted nothing to do with you, he wouldn't have created you in the first place! He most certainly wouldn't have sent his only Son to die for us, and thereby give eternal life to those who would believe in him.
Talk to your Father. Trust in Christ’s sacrifice. When God sends you his Holy Spirit as a helper for your journey with Jesus, you will feel mighty among men. Salvation is simple. Don’t let this world with all its trappings cause you to stumble in your walk with the Father. It’s a powerful miracle to be released from the sin and evil in this world.
