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Christian Singles at Christmas

How Christian Singles Can Beat the Holiday Blues

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Single at Christmas
Photo: Agnes Csondor / Getty Images

Do you struggle with being single at Christmas?

It's not uncommon for Christian singles to feel depressed during the holiday season. If we're not half of a couple, we can find Christmas just another hard time to get through.

As someone who has been a Christian single more than 40 years, I eventually learned that beating the holiday blues is a matter of focus. When we get our focus off ourselves and on to other things, it can make Christmas time enjoyable again.

Being Single at Christmas Can Help You Focus on Others

If we're honest, we singles would admit we can be morbidly self-centered. We're a family of one, and our mind is usually fixated on how that one is doing, moment by moment. Everything gets viewed through the narrow lens of "I".

Yes, it would be great if people constantly showered us with love and attention during the holidays, but let's get real. Our married friends have their spouse to think about, often children, and they have family and other friends, too.

It may be a cliché to say that the way to happiness is to make others happy, but it's also true. Paul quoted Jesus Christ as saying, "'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'" (Acts 20:35, NIV)

We've been conditioned to associate giving with presents, but one of the most valuable gifts we can give someone is our time and our ability to listen. Loneliness strikes everyone. Just spending time with a friend or relative over lunch or a cup of coffee can do both of us a world of good. To show someone you care about them and to say it is a priceless way of focusing on others.

Of course there are toy drives, and charities always need volunteers. These are the kinds of others-focused activities that make you happy because you're making someone else happy. We are the hands and feet of Jesus Christ, even in small things.

Being Single at Christmas Can Help You Focus on the Future

Christian singles who are not paired up during Christmas may reminisce about past relationships, beating ourselves up for mistakes we made. Let me tell you that regret is Satan's way of using your past to spoil your present.

As children of God, our past sins are forgiven: "I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more." (Isaiah 43:25, NIV). If God has forgotten our sins, so should we.

The "If only..." game is a waste of time. There is no guarantee that a past relationship might have ended in happily-ever-after. Maybe it would have ended in misery, and that's why God lovingly plucked you out of it.

We singles can't live in the past. The adventure lies ahead. We don't know what God has planned for us in the rest of this life, but we do know what to expect in the next life, and it's good. In fact, it's incredible.

By taking our focus off the past and putting it on the hope of tomorrow and what's to come, we have much to look forward to. When you serve a loving God, life can change for the better in an instant. Christian singles live a story with a guaranteed happy ending.

Being Single at Christmas Can Help You Focus on God

When we're caught up in shopping and parties and decorations, even Christian singles can lose sight that this whole thing is about Jesus Christ.

That baby in the manger is the gift of a lifetime—an eternal lifetime. We will never receive anything more valuable than him. He is the love we have always chased after, the understanding we so desperately need, and the forgiveness we'd be lost without.

Jesus makes it possible for single people to get through life, not just at Christmas, but all year 'round. He gives us meaning when we have none. Jesus gives us a purpose that rises above the pettiness of this world.

Being single at Christmas often means pain, but Jesus is there to wipe away our tears. At this time of year, he is as close as we need him to be. When we feel sad, Jesus is our hope.

When we focus on Jesus Christ, we find our bearings again. If you can grasp that Jesus, out of pure love, sacrificed himself for you, that truth will carry you through Christmas and far beyond.

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