Out of control, abusing drugs and pregnant by age 16. This testimony tells the story of a young girl whose drinking, drug habits and sexual promiscuity led to an early, unwanted pregnancy. When she miscarried, no one knew except her boyfriend - who reacted in a violent rage. At her lowest point she began to search for the reasons for her existence. As the young woman's desires began to change, suddenly she discovered something much bigger than this world.
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Something Bigger than this World
I come from a family that did not have a relationship with God. I didn't live a bad life. I was good in school, listened to my parents most of the time and had lots of mates.At 14 I started experimenting with things like smoking cigarettes, having a beer now and then, and boys. By 15 I smoked cigarettes regularly, I drank nearly every weekend, I was also smoking marijuana, and had become sexually active. I did all of this without my parents knowledge.
By the time I turned 16 I was smoking pot regularly, I was drinking every weekend and sleeping with guys who were a lot older than me - some I didn't even know their names.
At 16 I became pregnant. I didn't know what to do. I booked an appointment to have an abortion. In the meantime, I drank and smoked more. A a couple of weeks later I had massive stomach cramps. I went to the toilet where I miscarried my child. I was 2 and a half months pregnant. I never told my mother. She just thought I was having a bad period.
After that week I started going down hill. I started drinking more and more, and got out of control. I told my boyfriend what had happened. He had never reacted like this in the past, but he went into a massive rage and beat me up. I just told my mum and dad that I had got into a scrap with some girls at a party and that everything was sweet.
My Lowest Point
By this time I was basically at my lowest point. I started isolating myself from my friends and family. I hated going to school. I became depressed and needed counseling, but even that wasn't working.The alcohol wasn't working. It was only making things worse for me. I knew there was more to life. I knew that I shouldn't be feeling this way, because the miscarriage wasn't my fault. But I couldn't change the way I felt.
Searching for Reasons
This is when I started searching for reasons. I began asking, "Why am I here? Why did I go through these situations, and most of all, why did I have this burning feeling inside to seek for something bigger than this world?"Continue reading page 2 of "Something Bigger than this World"
