I sensed that God had woken me up literally and spiritually. I never had anything to do with the occult again. I began to seek help from Christians, not because I wanted salvation, but because I wanted them to pray to God on my behalf and make Him see reason and reduce my height! It didn't work!
My Own Agenda
I had been corresponding with a well-known evangelist at that time who was so loving, caring and concerned about me that I decided just to write to him only. After a two year period I "gave my life to the Lord," or said the sinner's prayer and ended up going to a church. The first few years are a bit of a blur because, although I was attending a church and was involved in ministry, I had my own agenda. I figured that because I was now a Christian (which I really wasn't) and on God's side, He would surely now give me what I had desired all these years.
One morning I was getting ready to pray and I found myself thinking, "I'm not going to ask the Lord to reduce my height anymore." I didn't know where that thought came from but I obeyed it. That same week the Lord spoke to me and said: "It's not that I cannot reduce your height but I will not reduce your height. I say, you are fearfully and wonderfully made; if I reduced your height, I would be agreeing with Satan that there is something wrong with you, and darkness has no communion with light."
It all made perfect sense. That one, powerful, life changing statement from the Lord ended over a decade's worth of feuding between us. Demonic thoughts and beliefs about my height were demolished in an instant.
Self-Acceptance
I used to fear that I would never be happy, have fun, feel normal or enjoy life. All of those fears have disappeared. The Lord has been so very good to me and has triumphed in the area of my biggest defeat; self-acceptance. He has been more than enough and true to his word. The journey isn't over yet and there is still a long way to go for me, but I've come a long way too!
I want to encourage anyone who is really battling with accepting something that the Lord has done. Nothing from the Lord is evil. Satan will work overtime to cause us to challenge God's sovereignty, his faithfulness and his word. But I can testify that all the fears that I had, that were so very real, have not come to pass. The Lord has been shown to be more than faithful and Satan more than a liar. Give the Lord your deepest fears and insecurities. He already knows about it and wants to set you free - if you will let Him.
"He who heeds the word wisely will find good, And whoever trusts in the Lord, happy is he." Proverbs 16:20 (NKJV)
