Several facets about the accident were actually pretty comical. I remembered how obsessed I had been with wondering what clothing I was wearing at that time - especially underwear. I just didn't remember what I was wearing and I wanted to know. Jim couldn't understand it, but we had a good laugh about it. You see, my mother had always told us kids, "Make sure your underwear is clean and not beat up. You never know when you might be in an accident." Mother is deceased, but she no doubt would have been more concerned about me than about my underwear.
Focus Forward
The greatest comfort for me was to count my blessings; to focus forward, and not look back. The accident was history. It couldn't be undone. First, I was so grateful that Anna was not injured more. She had two young boys to take care of. Had she had my injuries, it would have been a terrible thing for her.God provided me with the best doctors. Our church women's group helped me for seven months with over 200 hours of service. Our men's group helped by building ramps for my return home. I was blessed with flowers, books, cards, gifts, and many visits from family and friends.
I'm grateful for the car we had just purchased, for the airbags, for the helicopter lift to the hospital, for minimal scars, for personal growth, for my family drawing closer, for my church friends, for new opportunities for ministry, and the list goes on. Also, I'm told that God painted a rainbow over the accident scene an hour after it occurred.
Surviving this, my fifth and worst accident, I know God has work for me yet on planet Earth. The first book I read after coming home was Lisa Beamer's book, "Let's Roll," in which she describes God's providential love in what transpired on the United flight that was brought down on Pennsylvania soil on September 11, 2001. This book helped me accept God's sovereign allowance of my accident. He knew the road we were traveling. He knew it was raining. He knew the driver of the GMC Yukon was hydroplaning and heading straight toward us. He knew I was hemmed in on all sides.
At any time, God could have changed the components. He could have diverted the Yukon. He could have made a way for me to avoid the situation. But, for whatever reason, He allowed the natural course of events to occur that day. Knowing the effect it would have for me and my family, He nevertheless permitted it to happen.
Going back and fretting about it does not undo the event. It does not make life different or better. I must trust my Sovereign Lord in His promise to never leave me nor abandon me. I know that I cannot fully understand all the "whys," but I'm at peace accepting His sovereign love.
Isaiah 55:8,9 (NKJV) tells us, "My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways," says the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Attitude Adjustment
Perhaps the biggest change in my life is my attitude adjustment orchestrated by my Savior. I can be truly thankful only by remembering that all things come from God, including my attitudes. This means that I must live in the belief that God is working for good even when it seems totally not good and that everything is falling apart. My decision to be thankful gives meaning to my pain.I am reminded that God offers me untold blessings in this hurtful experience. He is there to provide comfort for me each day. What God has promised in the midst of my pain is real life, real joy, incredible growth, and unbelievable beauty. He has not promised the absence of pain.
Do I have physical pain? Yes, I have pain everyday. But I have made a conscious decision not to go there. If I go there, I may not come back. We can cradle the pain of our past and the pain of our present and allow that pain to surround us each day if we so choose. But I don't believe that is what God wants us to do. He wants us to bring our pain to Him and allow Him to remold us into a beautiful vessel fit for His use.
My personal resolve is to live in relationship with Jesus in such a way that He can turn my troubles into triumphs. I want to surrender myself each day to my Maker and serve Him daily as He indicates. When I focus on the Lord, the negative stuff that has happened to me holds less importance. He helps me focus on what I can do, not on what I can't. Robert Schuller says it well, "Look not at what you've lost, but look at what you have left." Being thankful and counting our blessings is much more rewarding than mulling over things that we cannot change.
- If you'd like to contact Irene Byers about a speaking engagement visit Amazing Grace.
