There were a few times I called Ky a name, just in fun, and each time he would politely say, "Please don't call me that, Kelly." I felt terrible when he said it like I let him down somehow. I soon learned that I couldn't call him that, I wouldn't let myself call him that. He was way too good for that. He was way better than me. What right did I have to talk to him like that?
Well, I graduated high school, becoming more and more agnostic as the time passed. The summer after high school was fun because I would go out with Matt and Renee almost nightly. We had gotten to the point where it was pretty much a routine to do something, so it was a surprise when I got a call from a guy I had a crush on in high school (who was also a Christian). Nathan asked me if I wanted to go rock climbing. I told him I had plans, but if he called back another night, I could probably go. I didn't hear from him for a few months, probably until the end of summer, so I kind of forgot about it.
He Invited Me to Church
But when he called the second time, I was free. There were a few times we hung out together, at night, just the two of us, and I had so much fun. I really thought I was falling for him, and I thought he felt the same way. He invited me to church, and though I was pretty much convinced that God didn't exist (and had even become hateful to those who believed in Him), I accepted. Anything to get closer to Nathan.When I drove up to the church that Sunday, I looked for his jeep but didn't see it. I decided to go in anyway because he said he'd be there. I saw him near the back working the sound board, as he said he did. I walked over to say hi. I thought maybe he'd work it and set it up in the beginning of the service, but he stayed back there the whole time. So, needless to say, I felt a little strange sitting down near the front (as I always try to do in church, school, and anywhere like that), the angry, judgmental, agnostic girl that I was. But I was determined to impress Nathan with my open-mindedness, so I sat down.
"My wife died about a year ago," the guest speaker began. He proceeded to tell of his two kids and how they would get him through the day sometimes. He told how he wouldn't have even gotten out of bed if it wasn't for his kids, "God's littlest miracles." He told about the wonderful painter his wife had been, and how a single event after his wife died had torn his heart out and healed it all at once, and as spoke, it tore mine out as well.
"We were in the Wal-Mart parking lot one evening, as the sun was setting. We just sat and watched the sun set for a while. The colors in the sky were amazing, so vivid. I didn't even know that I had begun to cry. My daughter watched the sky for a few seconds before asking, 'Daddy? Did God let Mommy paint the sky today?'" I wasn't the only one there who was in tears. Many people around me, including the speaker, were wiping their eyes and trying to hide little sniffles.
One Step Closer
After the service, I had forgotten where I was. It didn't matter. Though I hadn't received Christ, I was one step closer. I couldn't believe that I was actually falling for this stuff. And at that point, I was still "falling for it," not believing it. I tried to play it off as some sort of sales pitch the general Christian population was trying to play. I still didn't get it.
It wasn't until late August or early September of 2004 that I finally opened my heart and my mind to Him. Nathan asked me to go bouldering with him and one of our other friends, Britany, and maybe do some four-wheeling too. When we got to the place to do bouldering, we couldn't do much because it was getting dark, so we just jumped into Nathan's jeep and headed up the mountain to go four-wheeling.
Now Colorado has the most beautiful mountains and landscapes that you ever did see, and that's exactly how I felt that night. As we drove up through the winding paths, past a few lakes, I said to myself, "I'm here for a reason, and not just this beautiful scenery."
Sure enough, as soon as we got to the lake, Yankee Doodle Lake, Nathan stopped his jeep, and we got out and walked onto a little mini-peninsula going into the lake. It was chilly, but worth the cold.
"Let's pray," Britany said.
"Okay," Nathan and I agreed. We bowed our heads and Britany began to pray.
