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The Bible and Suicide

Waking From My "Coma"

Share Your Story: Before and After Stories of Christian Salvation

By trace63

Waking From My "Coma"

On stage performing, before I surrendered all.

Waking From My "Coma"

Since my transformation back to him began.

What My Life Was Like Before I Received Christ

My name is Trace. I was brought up in an emotionally abusive home. My mother was dominant and abusive, and my father was very meek. They moved to Florida when I was very young and I started to experience total rejection from other boys. In fact, I was beaten every day by boys at school.

How I Came to Faith in Jesus

It was so bad, I had to be escorted around school for my protection. I was called terrible names and even urinated on. I had no idea why this was happening to me.

I began to live secluded in my room, listening to KISS records. I managed to get through school and came to terms with being gay. I soon embraced the gay world, but I had also met some Christians at work. They talked me into attending a three-night revival at their church. I hated it, but on the last night something happened. It was as if a fog lifted and I saw the truth. That night I ran to the altar and accepted Jesus Christ as Lord.

How My Faith Has Made a Difference

Soon I moved in with a Christian family and started a Christian rock band. Things were great for a little over a year. But then I fell in love with a male band member and our pastor made a sexual approach on me. I ran back into the arms of the world.

That's when my life got really bad. I became addicted to sex ... from restrooms and truck stops. Then I found cocaine and used every week. I also desired to be on stage, so I created an alter ego named "Coma," a satanic drag queen. This image took off and I was on TV and toured the country.

I still talked to the Lord. I never rejected him. I just wanted to do things my way ... big mistake! I would attend churches here and there, but made no commitment. I got arrested for felony drug possession, both my parents died, my best friend died, and I found out I was HIV positive.

I continued with more drug use and more performing. I had become a star in the gay community. But with no family, I felt totally alone and very unhappy. I attempted suicide seven times. I ended up homeless. I lost everything. I was put in a group home and then found out I had full blown AIDS ... and cancer.

I was able to get on disability and get my own tiny apartment. It seemed like God was restoring me. But, I started performing and using drugs again.

Then I found a church called Calvary Chapel and attended a few times. Some people reached out to me, but I couldn't let go of the world. One night, I woke up at 3 a.m. and felt God saying, "Now. I want all of you, now. This is it."

I wrestled with the Lord all night and finally gave in. My transformation back to him had begun. It was as if I had truly been awakened from a coma. I stopped performing and started attending Calvary Chapel.

The gay community which once loved me, now hated me. I lost all of my friends and even received death threats.

The Lord started to reveal himself to me, and I was very hungry and hurting. God did several miracles in my life as he became more and more real. My health improved. The cancer stopped growing and the AIDS is now undetectable in my blood. I have a beautiful apartment and a Christian family gave me a car. Our God is so awesome.

Lessons Learned

I can't say it's been easy since I surrendered all. There are still temptations and I do spiritual warfare every day.

I have decided to pick up my cross and follow him. I have not looked back once to the life I once had. I really don't miss it at all. The desire for drugs was completely removed from me.

Every believer has a story, and this is just the tip of my iceberg, but I want people to know this: No matter what you've done or how wicked you've been, Christ is there for you.

I had to get to the point where Jesus was all I wanted. I had to make the choice to lay it all down at the foot of the cross.

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