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The Bible and Suicide

Readers Respond: Why Don't You Go to Church?

Responses: 427


Judgmental Pastor

I went to pastor about a family problem. He listened to both sides but chose the one that was a member of his church. Told me I was living in a ungodly environment. He has never meet me and don't know anything about me only what the other person said. If you come into my home I have several Bibles throughout the house, have different pictures on the wall with sayings about the Lord, have the Ten Commandments in my entry way and a large book of virtues I teach my grand kids with, so don't judge me on what you don't know. He told the other member to stay away from us that we did not obey the following of the Lord. No, this is not it I fell that my family member puts an offering in the plate and I don't. He was very rude and very unprofessional, really turned me away. I've seen that in many churches I have tried. I love the Lord and only he judges me.
—Guest amy

Confused and Uncomfortable

I don't like the focus on buildings, events, functions, promotions, new brochures, etc, etc ... surely we could be better using the money and time taken up with these trivialities - why not take the time to go out into the community - we spend time and effort and energy into ourselves and the church building and we are too tired out to go out into the community and make disciples and make connections - I'm confused and uncomfortable but I don't know what to do about it! What would Jesus do?
—Guest Eve

Make an Appointment

I was having a real hard time accepting my mother's illness and I was losing my faith. I sent my minister an email explaining how I felt and asking for guidance. He never answered me. His secretary sent me an email saying he was very busy and maybe I needed to make an appointment. I love God and I have a better understanding since my mother passed away, but I haven't been back to church since then. I always loved going to church, but I just don't have it in my heart to go anymore.
—Guest Dee


There are several reasons I left church most of them mentioned here. Also, the rip off schemes of the modern church, mandatory tithing, all the silly groups, guilt sermons, etc, have killed any desire for church.
—Guest Ed

Bad Pastor

I used to love going to church. It was truly an inspirational place to be. But then we got a new pastor. He claims he has the love of God in him and all he does is criticize and make fun of other people and denominations who don't believe exactly the same way he does. The pastor even mocks St. Peter because of the things he did. The pastor feels he is above everyone, yet he doesn't do any of the things you'd expect a pastor to do: he totally ignores people in hospitals and nursing homes and that kind of thing. He also says people don't have a right to think anything about God that he doesn't tell them. Yet, he is a "called or ordained servant of the Lord" so he acts holier than everyone around him, despite his actions - or inactions. He has totally ruined church for me.
—Guest Guest Doug

It's Not About You!

I've been reading a lot of responses to this article looking for something a bit more profound, but it's all very selfish, self absorbed garbage. I believe that most of you are missing the point of going to church. It's not about you, it's about God. Go to church to worship God! Who cares about what everyone else thinks? Perhaps God has given you a mission to set a better example. Go to church and worship. Put your hands in the air, give praise and thanks to the Lord, fall to your knees, cry, applaud Jesus for what He did on the cross. Do what is in your heart for Jesus! Your pastor didn't die on the cross for your sins. Neither did the person sitting next to you. Join the church as a member. Volunteer your time, energy, and skills to benefit the church. On your journey, it's also your responsibility to tell people that they are doing wrong. If they refuse to change, talk to your pastor and get more help. If your pastor is the problem, go find another church. Stop making excuses and go.


Too much emphasis on membership instead of being saved through Jesus. Too much pressure to do activities and "be involved." It's hard to build a great family with a godly foundation when the whole family is split up at church all of the time, different days and times of the week.
—Guest Ms. Confused

Money, Money, Money

All they seem to want is our money. If I'm sick, I'll I never hear from them. No Christian love whatsoever ... is that what I go to church for?
—Guest Joy

Where are the Christians?

I always thought church was filled with loving caring people. I have belonged to Bible study groups, and women's circles. When I am, I'll barely get a card or call or prayer. They sit there never offering any help or comfort. Where are the Christians? I'm losing faith in going to church. I guess I need to meet a Samaritan that will provides God's loving care and concern.
—Guest Sue

What's the Point?

I'm 16 years old and have lived in a Christian home all my life but the Christian thing is just dead to me. I don't understand how God can have his chosen people, does that mean that he already knows who's being damned to hell? Truthfully, I want to be a Christian but I'm so confused and you can't ask at church because people just pass judgment ... So, what's that point?
—Guest I don't want to be known

Church Can Be Great But ...

But church is a complicated and difficult place. The Catholic church wants to control you in the name of Christ. I am a good man, but I don't believe everything that comes from the mouth of priests or the pope. I simply don't agree. If I listen to them they will say if I disagree with them I am not following the teachings of the church. Keep in mind the teachings of the church are some men's interpretation of the teachings of Christ. Inflexible rules and complete control of our lives is something I cannot condone and will not allow. If the dear Lord stood in front of me and directed me to do something I would. Some of the priests think they are owed the same as Christ. I think their oath of humility has been lost.
—Guest Marc

Nice Try

Heb. 10:25 doesn't say anything about church. The truth is there are no commands in the Bible to go to weekly church, to sit and listen for a couple hours, then leave after a little socializing. The real form of religion that God wants from us is clearly laid out in James 1:27, period. How you serve God is between you and Him. We don't need the approval of a pastor or any peers. Also, if your church offers tax breaks via 501 c3 then Jesus is no longer the head of that church the government is.


I began dating (and having sex with) a young man, who was also a youth preacher. When we found out we were having a baby (outside of marriage), his mother told me that the only way she would accept my son and I was if I married her son. We have been together for a long time and I do not feel I am ready for the responsibility of marriage. I know premarital sex is wrong and, being a preacher, so does he. We have repented of our sins and no longer live together or have sex. But his mother still pushes for marriage. She then explained to our church of our sin and now we are judged constantly so we decided to stop going. We still read together and teach our son about God. But I do not feel as though I could return to our beloved church due to the judgment given by the members. How do I learn to love a congregation after such hatred has been expressed?
—Guest Hannah

Still Interested, But ...

Hurting people hurt people. Most ministries today were started by pride, arrogance or offense. You know the spirit of God and the works of the flesh. We tolerate this to prove our loyalty to pastors and/or our families who have attended for many years. In order to receive healing where it is needed, the pastors must repent and allow God to purge them. That stands for us all, but to really see people whole and complete so must leadership. Jeremiah 23 tells how God is going to deal with those who scatter his sheep. People are losing hope and God is not pleased. If he leaves the 99 for the one who is lost why cant we? His priority is saving souls.
—Guest mclark


I'm miserable, honestly, right now. I'm 17 years old. I'm lost, I don't know what to do. Please help me.
—Guest Guest

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