Readers Respond: Why Don't You Go to Church?

Responses: 43

Tell Us Why

Churches are Clubs

We homeschooled our children and all our church did was tell our children that we were sheltering them. Today, 3 out of 6 of our kids attend church. The other 3 want nothing to do with it. I taught Sunday School, headed up a Wednesday night children's program, led children's musicals, played the church piano, started a church children's library, attended services 3 times a week, helped whenever anyone needed anything. It took 32 years of this to realize that the church no longer holds dear the truths of the Bible. It seeks now to make people "comfortable" by omitting the preaching of the Good News that God wants to save us from our sins. It's all about the blonde up in front bouncing around and singing to the ceiling. Church for me now is in front of Ed Hines or John Hagee on Sunday morning TV. I started an Internet ministry for homeschooling moms. On Sundays I'd rather hang out at the flea market and talk to the people there who are starving for God's love.

—patches1951

DIY

There are no rules for being Christian...but obviously there are some common beliefs. The great thing about it is that we don't have to agree on everything to love and give thanks to the one and only Christ. The idea of "church"--to me--is a spiritual lifestyle, but guess what...you can live a spiritual life style without church, and to be honest, just listening to the people in church--before Mass--I realized I did not belong there. Then Mass began, and when it was over, it was confirmed: this is not for me, for I did not find God in a church...so why am I going to a specific place to praise him? It's not just one church, no, it's several. And say every church on the globe just vanished all at once...would we lose faith? I'm willing to bet we find it all over again--inside, with the Holy Spirit that dwells within us. Self discovery is powerful..discovering your faith for the first time or all over again all be yourself is the substance of real faith.

—Guest stardust

Too Pompous

I get mad when I go to church ... at all the fakey nicey nice people who wouldn't even want to really be your friend. At our church it is like a concert with people singing on stage more concerned about putting on a good show for the audience. Then the country club preacher with his perfect hair and cool contemporary shirt want to compare everything to golfing. Ok, not everyone can relate a Bible story to golf. All the college kids (it's a college town) are dressed like they are going to the club and trying to hook up with someone. And if you don't sway and jump around to the music and hold your hands up, you look like a stiff who doesn't believe. I just don't like being around crowds and feeling like if I don't have a million friends and go to all their little small groups to shmooze over each other then I am not doing right.

—sinnerandchristian

Why I Don't Go to Church

Five years ago I was in full-time in ministry. After burn out, I stopped going to church. Occasionally, I try going to the churches close to where I live, yet I can't find one. I have no Christian contacts anymore and I'm quite lonely. I feel I have put a wall up between me and others - yes, fear of being hurt again. But how am I ever going to meet other people? I have a boring office job and see no one all day. What am I supposed to do? Sometimes I'd just like to chat to with someone. Thanks.

—Guest Anne

Want Something More Personal

I've been praise & worship leader in 2 churches, taught Sunday school, attended cell groups, was on "the board," and my relationship with Jesus has never been more real since I started spending my time the way God directed me to, rather than how I thought I should. Church became a big production: great music, dancers with flags, "properly trained intercessory prayer warriors" ... What ever happened to just praying for someone, now you need to be properly trained? There are so many people begging for relationship with God, not to mention just good relationships with other people that will actually give you some of their time. People are starving for relationships, period. I recently read where only 3% of those attending mega-churches with all the bells, bands & whistles are new believers. The rest just came from other churches to be a part of this new "relevant church." Right now, God wants me "out there" loving saved or unsaved neighbors. Just show them love, God will save them.

—Guest Roger

I Don't Go to Church Buildings

I meet with other Christians, but I limit the amount of preaching I listen to. I don't need more education or words. I need more obedience and action--to be a doer not a hearer.

—Guest marc

I've Tried So Many Churches

There are about 3 reasons why I don't go. 1. I can't find one that 'fits'. I would like a church that has good praise and worship that fits my pentecostal background, good Bible teaching, programs for youth and children and lots of folks my age (early 40s). Most churches around here are extremely traditional, small, and set in their ways. I lean more towards contemporary. 2. I have a hard time going to church with strangers. I don't have very close friends and my family lives far away. My personality type makes it difficult for me to get to know people. I went to my last church for 5 years. I never really got to know anyone. When I left, no one noticed. 3. My kids are the same way...very shy. I have trouble getting them involved. I have prayed about this for many years and worry that my children aren't getting the Bible training they need. That is my biggest concern. I constantly wonder why God hasn't led us to a church. I have prayed about this for many years.

—Guest Vicky

Sad Reality

We have put money in the collection plate - until the day our church decided we needed to build a new addition to the church and in order to afford it, we had to promise a certain percentage of our income to the church each week. We kept giving each week in the collection plate, then received a letter from the church, that we hadn't "made our promise to pay a percentage" each week, and that a church member would be visiting our house to find out why. No more church for us. I would far rather worship Him in my home, and learn about the Bible online, than be with this group of hypocrites every Sunday. These church members are nice to your face, but won't acknowledge you on the street! A member once told me that God "requires you to come to church to worship and to give." No, He (GOD) doesn't. But you can bet the hypocrites do. I will give God my love, praise, and worship everyday in my home. I would never consider going back to this "House of the Hypocrites." in Pittsburg, KS.

—rhondal01

Can't Put My Finger On It

There are weeks when I feel like I need to be together with other believers, but then when I go, it seems like it's all for show.

—Guest GuestSearching

Why I Don't Attend Church

I did go to church for many years. Over the last year, my husband and I have not gone. We've been through many changes in our lives with our children growing up, and they have not attended any church services nor do they seem to have any faith. We have failed to pass our faith on to our kids. That is hard. I think our daughter may be close to starting to attend church again, but my son seems so lost. I have a great network of Christian friends who we see often. My female friends are the best anyone could have. I can always go to them with any problem as they can come to me. I guess because I feel like such a failure with my kids, it is very hard to attend church. I just don't know ...

—Guest roberta