Readers Respond: Why Don't You Go to Church?

Responses: 63

Tell Us Why

Christ is Not the Head

Simple. I think there are more people that claim to be Christians than actual are Christians. The churches that I have attended seem to be led by the leaders of the church instead of by Christ, who is suppose to be the head of the church.

—Guest Rodney

Lost Trust

I loved my church growing up, but then I stopped attending because I went away for the remaining 2 1/2 years of my college education. While away my mom's health went downhill, and I didn't appreciate how some of the church members were acting towards my family and what they were saying. Our pastor went with us on one of the many doctor visits and she was rude towards me, telling me how I should be taking care of my mom, when she didn't really know the whole situation. Also the pastor made it seem like she was above everyone else and no one is good enough but her. My mom passed away 8 months ago and the pastor still rubs me the wrong way, so I don't really go any more. I've been finding other things to replace it (expanding my knowledge through reading, volunteering my time to a teen devotional website). In the future, once I move away from where I'm currently living, I plan to find the right church again.

—Guest Maggie Carr

May Not Attend Every Sunday

I do go to church but I don't feel guilty if I miss a Sunday. Your article and references were great, but you should have led with the Luke 4 reference. I believe the Body of Christ represents all Christians, and not just those at church. Many people are very involved with community small groups, missions, outreach, etc., but may not attend their church every Sunday. I don't think they should be looked upon as though they are not good Christians. I don't think it's really clear that one should be a member at a specific church in order to meet together with other Christians. There are also many big Bible studies (Bible Study Fellowship) that give Christians a place to learn the Bible and also meet together to encourage, etc.

—stilwtrjen

Dealing With Bipolar Disease

I love my church and church family. There is freedom in my church--to learn, sing and praise the Lord. It is hard for me to attend because I have bipolar disease, and many months can go by without us being able to attend. That only makes my heart to wonder what was studied, sang and preached about. Absence makes the heart grow fonder; and I am going to try to make an "absence" into a "presence" when I feel well enough to go back. Depressions and the worries of this world are all around us. At my church, this is all lifted. And I pray I can lift myself up with the help of God to go back soon and get a refreshing of fellowship which I know I need. Not everyone is well enough to attend weekly services. Don't feel bad about it. Sing at home and study your Bible, express your love of Christ to others everyday; pray that your lot will be a little lighter tomorrow. Mostly, pray for others who are too ill or old to assemble together as they used to or want to. God is good.

—childressreport

Don't Feel Like I Belong

I have been to a few different churches, but I can't find one that feels like I belong there.

—Guest dee

Hurt By My Pastor

I have been going to a small church. I was not very discerning, apparently. I loved my pastor and trusted her. I let her into my life to a point where she was actually controlling me. She turned on me, told me I had a Jezebel spirit, that I should ask God to take me home and out of my misery, that I needed Jesus Christ, and that I didn't like order. This was all because people were giving a testimony and I tried to explain about my 19-year-old son, and why he reacts the way he does. Trying to smooth things over because they were pressuring him to be prayed for. He told me he didn't want strange people laying hands on him. They said I came up against an elder, and God who searches our hearts, knows that was never my intention. I can't seem to get over it. I feel down in the dumps. I've asked God for the grace and love to forgive her and the other members that turned on me. I felt like they all betrayed me. She wasn't even there at the time, they called her in another country.

—Guest Catherine Greenidge

Church Just Isn't What It Used to Be

I am so hungry for fellowship, but at church all I find is "agenda." I find certain political viewpoints are honored while the teaches of Jesus himself are barely mentioned. Jesus is a "free ride to heaven," but his example and teachings are brushed off as "impractical," "idealistic" and "socialist." The constant demand for money and negative attitude toward anyone who is not a thin, financially successful "Energize Bunny" leaves me drained and sad. As someone suffering from a chronic illness, I've gotten to the point that Sunday mornings are just impossible for me. With so many people who work long hours each week, you'd think the church would rethink the idea that Sunday morning is somehow the holiest time to meet. People come in flustered, half asleep, struggling. Why not adopt a schedule that would be more relaxing? The Bible says the Sabbath is supposed to be restful, a delight. The "churchy" way of observing the Christian Sabbath is more like a job than a joy.

—Guest No Energizer Bunny

Why Go Hungry?

If you had a bad experience at one restaurant, would you not ever go out to eat again? Then why do people who have a bad experience with one church or one denomination make the decision to not go back to church? Don't go hungry. A Christian out of church is like a piece of coal out of the fire. You can burn for a while, but not as hot or for as long, like you can when you are with other Christians. On fire, spirit-filled Christians encourage and renew the fire of God within us. I believe going to church is very important. Most churches are full of hypocrites, but they always have room for one more :)

—Guest tracey

Thrown Out Bath Water But Kept the Baby

I have thrown out the bath water but kept the baby! I find that the church is not in the world anymore, but the the world has gotten into the church -- and the the church is drowning! It has become a Confusion Club for me. I now take the time everyday to dwell in the Word of God and the Word dwells in me, and the Holy Spirit has cleared me of my confusion. To God be the glory and I praise His wonderful Name.

—Guest Hannah

I Question the Church, Not Christ

Actually, I still go to church, but my disdain for church grows as each Sunday rolls around. The worship used to be so pure and simple. Now it's all about young couples and babies and a social club atmosphere, where if you don't fit in, you can forget it. If you are not at least seriously dating someone, people think you are defective. People can boldly break your heart and not be confronted for their sins. Unrepentant, Jezebel spirits, racism, people so out of touch with anyone who is not in their clique. The list goes on and on. In my opinion, the sermons are weak and lack conviction or any kind of anointing. During the sermons, the congregation is rarely asked to crack open their Bibles. Sometimes, I don't bring one at all, because it's pointless. Home groups are a joke. Just because you go to one does not mean you're "experiencing community." I've never seen so many insecure women in my life; they are so possessive over their friendships and cliques.

—Guest Pirouette

If It Were Easy, We Would Be Done

As a born again North American Baptist husband and father of two, I have been through my share of the same trials and tribulations as most of you. In fact, I am in the middle of one myself. I disagree strongly with my church's political structure, its music programs, and I don't feel that I get much out of the pastor's sermons. But many of you folks sound like you are asking, "So what's in it for me?" (Except for littleoldladyintraining and booktree.) You are approaching these issues with the pragmatic, enlightenment idea that your time must yield some benefit or gain for yourself, not for God. You call others in your church hypocrites, but what have you given to the church, or what have you done to solve the problems you see therein? If you see them, it's your responsibility to call them out and give suggestions on how to solve those problems. My dilemma now is how I can help my local church, especially where it fails? It is certainly not "what can I get out of my time on Sunday."

—Guest A4ism

An Unhealthy Obsession with Church

I can't settle in any church. I see bits of what I'm looking for in different churches, but can't find one that ticks all the boxes. I have issues with the worship style, the preaching, doctrine, the people and fellowship. Why can't I just overlook the negatives and just get on with it? I go for so long, and then wham, I can't cope with the things I don't like. I must dwell on church 365 days a year. If Sunday isn't a good day it affects me for the rest of the week! Pray for me!

—Gemma23

Not Necessary for Heaven

You really don't need church to go heaven. My heart is with the lord 100%, and I read my Bible all the time, so I am living and breathing God's love every day. Church is just for people to show off what they have. That's my opinion.

—sashafierce123

My Marriage Fell Apart

I don't go to church because my marriage fell apart because of a woman in my church. My husband takes part in church activities with unholiness. It breaks my heart when I think that the very same church where I got married, was the place that ruined my marriage. Church leaders said adultery is like lying and cheating, and they sent me away, demanding forgiveness.

—Guest grace

Single Mother - Confused

I am a single mother of two children and we had been attending church. I pulled myself out from going to church when I started seeing another man. We were living together, but are married now. My church elder has asked me to go back to church, so I told him everything. He said we both are welcome to attend church services together, but my new husband is from a different denomination. We have also agreed that he can attend his church and I can attend mine with the children. It's just that this person really loves me and we have my children, but he was married previously too. Sometimes I accept his daughter to come and stay with us. I didn't know at first that he had been married, so now I have no choice but to accept his child. We are always happy when our children are together. I really want to go back to church, but I feel sorry for my husband's first wife. What am I supposed to do?

—Guest Guest - Agnes