Giving in to Harder Drugs
At the time I was 45 years old. Most of my friends were in their 30's to 40's. We were living in a small but nice apartment complex one block from the beach in Los Angeles, California. Up until then I hadn't touched dangerous hallucinatory drugs like meth, crack, or heroin. I was very afraid of them. I had seen some of their devastating consequences as a teenager, so I stayed clear of them.However, after smoking pot for three years, my resolve had weakened. In the fall of 2000, My best girlfriend moved in with me for a temporary time. One of the neighbors started to sell crack. I noticed the increased traffic to his apartment every day, and I was afraid he would bring in trouble from drug users and the law. I knew him personally. He was deaf also. So, I asked him to stop. But he was making big money and he liked it too much, so he refused to stop.
He bought many new things, clothes, a big TV, stereo, and new furniture for his apartment. When I returned home from a long vacation trip, I learned that my best friend had started smoking crack too. I was scared for her. But she told me it was an awesome high trip. Then she offered me some. After a little hesitation, I accepted and smoked the crack.
Looking back now to that moment, I wish I had listened to that little voice in my heart that said "no." But the curiosity had gotten a hold of me. I had no idea of the kind of drug it was. And I believed my friend about how awesome it was.
The Truth About Crack
Now, I'd like to make a point about the drug crack. Later on in the years to follow at AA meetings, I often heard the same thing from other ex-users about crack. The saying is, "It grabs you so fast, before you even know it." That is the truth! It happened to my friend, and to me. It is horribly addictive! Once you smoke it, you can't stop until you either crash or run out of the rocks.It took extreme effort for me to control it by smoking only in the evenings after work and only a few times a week. But while smoking it, I couldn't stop the need to get high until the drug was all gone and it was time to sleep at night. By the fourth week, the craving was so bad I found myself crawling on the floor, looking for the crack left-overs. At that moment, I was acutely aware of my behavior and I was truly horrified at the change in me, and also my best friend. She had become a full-time user, smoking it 24 hours every day.
A Horrible Change
My friend would go 2 weeks without sleep, and then she'd crash. But then she'd be back smoking it again the next day. It was terrible to watch as it changed her personality. She became a different person—a not so nice person. I didn't like her. Her wild talk was full of profanities. She called me a "bitch," and before that she had never said one bad word against me in our 18 years of friendship.As for me, I smoked the crack for one and a half months. Then one night I heard God's voice clearly. He said, "Quit it." I obeyed and quit immediately. He set me free. I didn't have any cravings after that. I was so happy and grateful. But I still didn't stop smoking marijuana or drinking, not yet.
Crack also hurt our neighbors. It killed one of them with a heart attack. Other neighbors became addicted. There were crack users at the dealer's home all the time, both women and men, ages 20 to 50, staying long hours. They almost never stopped smoking crack.
After 6 months of drug dealing, the deaf man was evicted from his apartment. That was the month after I had quit. I felt sorry for him, so I allowed him to stay the night at my home for "just a short time," as long as he didn't sell drugs. However, within 2 weeks I had to evict both him and my best friend. They moved onto the streets and stayed in motels and friends' homes.
A Nightmare
It was like a nightmare for me. I had lost my best friend. It broke my heart to kick her out of my home. But both of them had no respect for me, nor did they care about keeping my home clean. They made a horrendous mess in my house. But I've learned this is what drug users are like. They only care about the drugs and getting high.If you get nothing else out of my story, remember that drugs like crack, heroin and meth are very dangerous, destructive and addictive. They do kill people, destroy their minds, and damage their health. They also hurt and destroy loved ones.
Using crack hurt my adult children. The drug damaged my brain and changed my personality, even though I only used it for about 6 weeks. Nevertheless, it can damage your body's organs without warning. The drug made chemical changes to my brain, causing me to "see" spirit beings and "hear" voices almost all the time. The drug also hurt my nervous system. I am still suffering those problems today.
Abusing any drug is a terrible sin because it opens the door to evil spirits, demons and Satan. I literally "saw" and experienced the evil spirits during the period I used crack. They hung around my apartment and harassed us, making us fearful and paranoid. Their goal was to eventually destroy our souls. They made both mental and physical attacks against me because they knew that I could see them. They appeared usually in the evenings until sunrise.
That was the scariest time of my life, to see how the drug crack was destroying me. It got to be so unbearable that many times I would think about suicide. I was very depressed and mentally exhausted. I wanted to die or sleep for a long time. I was tired of the evil tormenting.
After God rescued me, the demons were gone. I was so grateful to be set free.
It was Jesus Christ who rescued me and who gave me salvation. He set me free from all drug and alcohol addictions. My depression left. The Lord helped me to be strong and to overcome. I started going to church, and loved it. God encouraged me to read the Bible again, and this time I could understand it. Now I believed what it said about hell. But because of his salvation, I didn't have to go there! I was headed toward heaven. Thank God and Praise the Lord! He was the best thing that ever happen to me.
