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Readers Respond: How Do You Deal With Difficult People?

Responses: 46

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In the article, "Dealing With Difficult People God’s Way," Jack Zavada writes, "Dealing with difficult people not only tests our faith in God, but it also puts our witness on display."

Perhaps you've discovered a secret for dealing with difficult people. If so, why not help others respond better to offensive individuals by sharing the biblical strategies you've learned.

Those Who Gossip About Marriage

There is nothing worse than having people in your business and making judgments about how a your marriage is. Who has a person/s in their lives that record personal conversations? All you can do is ignore them. It is good to have a husband that speaks lovingly of me not what others think.
—Guest sneaky people

So Glad I Found This

It is SO nice to hear REAL Christians discussing REAL issues! I am trying to deal with a situation of harassment and character assassination, but there are too many of you to thank individually, so I just wanted to take this opportunity to say thank all of you for sharing! I don't feel so alone!
—Guest Guest JustPassingThrough

Walking It Through With God

I'm being bullied by a male neighbor who outweighs me 2X (I'm a petite gal). Ultimately I think he's a coward ~ why else would he pick on a small woman who's alone in the world? He is persistent. It's been going on for 6 months now. I've ignored him, refusing to look at him, his yard, his house. I've been everywhere in prayer about it, ranging from indignation, crying in affliction, praying for his salvation, forgiveness, 'please re-direct his focus', 'please help me to move', 'please move him', 'blast him outta the stratosphere', confessing my sins & vengeful thoughts, asking for strength (to name a few prayers). One night after praying about it, I asked God what He wanted me to read of His Word. I opened the bible in faith... to Esther 9. (kjv). The verse that stood out the most was v. 16, making a STAND. That is what I have been doing lately, making a STAND. I can't afford to move, and I've always been a runner from difficult people. It's been difficult, but I'm standing.
—Guest Building Character

Lifestyle

It is very complex to change someone's style of living. A sister of mine has been so difficult to the extent that none in the family advices her anymore. But through grace and guidance of God, she is now at home with everyone. Glory be to the Almighty God.
—Guest A_Geoffrey

Sickness

Dear Lord i have dmentia, leg amputated, children fighting over where i should live, they are even honour a dead mans wish that i must go back home to die in my house, they dont know who you are they you rule and that they must honour your word firstly then all things will fall in place,
—Guest Martha

Letting Go

I think one of the hardest things is to let go of our anger, hurt, and indignation. (Pride) Also, it's hard to let go of the urge to 'fix" things, which can also come from pride and cause even more frustration, when it doesn't work or makes things worse. The thing I need to learn most, is to know when to let it go, and give God room to work.
—Guest L

Difficult Wife

Proverbs says twice (21:9 and 25:24), that it is better to life on a corner of the rooftop than to deal with a contentious wife. A difficult, nagging, contentious, unfriendly, frigid, angry wife can lead a man's thoughts to escaping the situation through divorce, suicide or hiding out in a hobby or activity that will put him in another place than where hs wife is. My wife is this way. Angry all the time, bitter about unmet expectations, frigid, unfriendly and unhappy. I spend much of my time looking for things to do that she is not interested in. I work on cars, garden, fix the house. Last year I spent three days painting the inside of the garage. It was so peaceful. I spend some of my time praying for her to find peace, but I have little faith she will. I look forward to the days when I am the only one in the house, no kids, no wife.
—Guest Porch sitter

Encouraged by Your Article

Right now, I am bombarded with different accusations from difficult people. It is worth noting to say that God never left me. He is there always to remind me that vengeance is not mine but it is for Him to avenge. Thank you, Lord Jesus.
—jayroldparcede

Dealing with a Difficult Mother

I unfortunately live with my mom due to the economy. She is an unhappy person, my oldest brother passed away 7 years ago, she was embarrassed of him because he was a stutterer all of his life. I live with her now due to the economy, and all she does is swear and gossip, and she is a church member. My brother is also living there now thank goodness, and she criticizes him about his weight, and how much she cannot stand his wife, and of course she criticizes me also. It tears her apart knowing that my brother and I are both very quiet and it takes a lot to get us upset. God is the answer and I will leave her in prayer, and pray that I can get out of her home soon. I refuse to let negative people get to me including my mother.
—storyteller03

Let Go and Let God

I recently had to deal with a lot of family problems and it was hard for me. I felt as if running away was the only option. Then right before I did the Lord told me to call my pastor. So I called my pastor and told him everything. I broke out in tears and he continued to listen. He then prayed for me and told me to wait til Sunday. Well, when Sunday came around he spoke to me and told me to expect some results soon. And not two days later, my dad and I talked and my problems were solved. So in all, going to God and praying is the BEST solution. If you try the LORD and this method, you will NEVER be disappointed.
—Guest Sarah Michelle

Stand Up to Bullying

When I was in junior high school, I endured bullying from a number of students. Then one day on the bus ride home, one guy kept flicking me in the ear while some others laughed. I decided I had enough of it, so I jumped into his seat and punched him in the head a few times. Needless to say, everyone was quite surprised. Not long afterwards, I transferred to a Christian school where I was able to meet some real friends who did not judge me for my dysfunctional family situations. Even now, if someone insists on getting under my skin, I have found that I have needed to stand up to them and tell them I'm not going to take it anymore. Even as a Christian, there are times you need to be strong to keep the peace.
—Guest Chuck

My Mom?

My mom makes my life miserable. She is angry at the church for the sins her son makes and now she hates me because I didn't leave the church with her. I am getting married in May, but she can't get over her offenses. I want people from church to go to the wedding, but she doesn't want to face her offenses (ungrounded offenses). It is really frustrating because I feel like the only solution is to accept that she won't be supportive... but that is so, so, so hard! I mean, she's my mom. I want her to care about my wedding. I've tried talking with her, reasoning with her, but her ears are closed. The funny thing is... she thinks I'm the one deceived. It tears me apart.
—Guest Mae Collins

Dealing with Difficult People God's Way

One of the greatest gifts we can develop in this life is to recognize the promptings of the Holy Ghost and then to let that Holy Spirit be our guide. Every situation is different. Go to Heavenly Father in prayer, talk to Him about how you are feeling and know that He hears and will answer your prayers. I try to work out in my mind what I think maybe the correct way to move forward then I go to my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask Him if it is right. (Please note here that I only ask the one question, if what I've planned out is right.) If it is right, He will let me feel that it is right in my head and in my heart. If so then carry out your plan, however, If it is wrong I usually have a stupor of thought and start over again trying to figure out what I should do. It's very important to only ask the one question. Reading James 1:5-6 should be a great help in knowing how Heavenly Father would have you proceed.
—Guest Susan B.

Meek Mice

You must judge each case on its own merits. I was severely attacked on the school bus by bullies day in and day out. It was too far to walk home. Does the situation fall into the category of CRIME (character defamation, assault, harassment)? If so you can't easily brush it off. Sinners must not be coddled while victims are condemned for complaining about their abuse. Any decent parent will do whatever it takes to keep their child safe, so long as its legal. As Kenny Rogers sang, Sometimes you gotta fight to be a man. That fighting should take place in the courts and justice system. We are not mice, we are sons and daughters of God. We are not doormats for the devil and his crowd to wipe their dirty feet on. Victims have to live with the repercussions of abuse while their assailants get off scot free. That's no justice. Bully ENABLERS are part of the problem in schools and workplaces. Turn the other cheek? God didn't always do that when people insulted Him in the OT.
—Guest Patricia

Daughter

My daughter was continuously bullied through third grade last year. At the end of the year five girls threatened to beat up my little girl. And then about one week later one of the girls hit my daughter in her back when she was on the monkey bars. The principle ignored it until I caused a scene. The girl got benched for recess for one day. Now school starts tomorrow. I want to be proactive before things escalate again. Does anyone have any suggestions before I go crazy? Much love to all of the Christians out there. God bless all of you.
—Guest Kathy
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